I see countless people (including myself in the past) become so frustrated and ashamed from wondering what they're doing wrong in this thing called ‘healing’. “Why does this same cycle keep coming back if I have already dealt with it? What am I not doing RIGHT? What am I missing?? I'm not doing enough, otherwise I would be done dealing with this same situation. Why does the universe keep placing this same scenario back into my life? I'm so confused! I must not be ‘healed’ yet. I must still be broken.” and i'm here to tell you that not only is the fact that these cycles keep showing up a good thing, but that you're on the right path and you're not doing anything wrong, you might just be looking at it in a clouded way.
I don't believe in the concept of healing yourself (psychologically, mentally, or spiritually. I’m not talking about physical wound healing here, I believe in that, I promise). Now you might be wondering, “Neo, but all anyone talks about anymore nowadays is healing healing healing! How to heal trauma, how to heal your inner child, how to heal the mother-wound! If healing doesn't exist, what are they on about then?” I think they are confusing process with result. We humans don't have an end goal to our existences. We aren't results, we are only process.
Yes, there is a way to graduate from level 1 trauma processing to level 10 but level 10 is not the last level, not even close. And that's because the last level does not exist. Look, life is not a straight line, it's a spiral. We continually come back to the things we thought we understood time and time again and see deeper truths each time. This will continue until we die. And don't see this as a load, rather as an expansion. You practice and get better every time, and the weight becomes more and more bearable. Until one day, you don't see it anymore as repairing things, you see it rather as building something brand new.
Think of it in this way,