First, an excerpt from my Journal, which set the tone for me to then write the essay below:
I see the Earth breathing, moving beneath my feet.
She whispers something to me. So softly I can barely hear it over the sound of me typing. She screams it but in a soft, soft voice.
"HEAR ME" she says "WAKE ME AND FILL ME WITH YOUR BODY! I WANT TO BE AWAKENED"
She's been dormant for too long. Do I really need something to fill my time, or do I just need to learn how to be okay with my time remaining vacant and still?
I don't really want to explore my senses anymore. Maybe that was the last time I let someone inside of me.
What did I want from this life before I came here? What did I hope to gain? Did I want dissolution? Did I want to remember my own face?
I've experienced the same things a million times on. I want to be freed.
*✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿**✿❀○❀✿*
Eternal recurrence is an idea originally thought up by philosophers in ancient Greece, where they assumed that the universe was created and destroyed over and over, ending up the exact same way every time, This theory was expanded upon by the philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. He also theorized that you experience the exact same events over and over for limitless time until the end of time.
If we look at this idea from a more practical standpoint, I can agree with it in a very abstract sort of way, and even trickled down into a big picture spiritual sense. But each half of the way I see it can stand on its own without the other, so regardless of your feelings towards spirituality, I think this concept can free you from some of the physical and metaphysical shackles of life. But for others, it can put them into a nihilistic spiral, which is why I also think it's important for me to discuss this concept from a new and unexpected viewpoint.
This is going to be a hyper-expansion upon the ideas I shared in my latest podcast episode on here Taking on the Poise of a Dying Man. If you haven't already listened to that, I recommend giving it a shot first, because it will put everything I share here today into more perspective. But if you don't feel like listening, I will summarize most of my points as I bring them to the surface in today's essay, so that you can still understand the majority of the context of what I am trying to dissect here and why.
In the episode ^ , I spoke about taking on the poise of a dying man as a natural end goal for human life, which has no true end goal.
Life as we know it is filled with constant goals, accomplishments, more goals, failures, more goals, accomplishments, more goals, failures, etc etc. This is a never ending cycle. Once you reach a pinnacle, you immediately scope out the next tower to climb. Whether it be a smaller tower, such as making a great dinner tomorrow evening, or a larger tower, such as starting a new successful company or moving to a new state.
This ongoing routine of wanting something and fulfilling the desire until death, is endless and full of the rejection of the life you are living at any given moment. It is also latent with the fear of death at every turn. Thinking always on the edge of compulsion, "If I can just finish this project before I die, or before anything prevents me from finishing it, if I can just reach this goal, don't let me fail, don't let something happen to prevent the attainment of this goal, especially death."
And this thinking is particularly prevalent in countries that are heavily focused and based on the capitalistic machine. It is not a feeling based on life and living, but just a constant need to be fulfilled which has been ingrained in us since birth.